I hate to complain about days off... and getting to relax... but can I just say I want this day to be over?  I hate Jonathan working till 1am and he's doing it tonight and tomorrow night.  Both weekend nights :(  I'm lucky I get to spend time with him at all I guess.  I'm also lucky that I had a day off today.

There was a "pitbull" attack again this week, broadcasted on the news.  I had about a day where I was so LIVID that I couldn't even communicate haha.  Okay.  So it was a pitbull, and usually... it is. But why in God's name do they tell you the breed of the animal, but not the breed of the owners?  I don't mean nationality or skin color or anything... I mean the type of freaking person.  Once you actually do the research and find out, it's pretty amazing the link you can make between WHOSE dogs attack people.  I get the phone calls "did you hear that a pitbull attacked...?"  Yes.  I know.  I have a pitbull.  I'm pregnant, I'm going to have small children in my house with  pitbull.  STOP TELLING ME.  Especially if you know nothing about dogs.  It's funny how the people who have the need to tell me are people who don't even have dogs.  Anyway, I'm done getting into it I guess.  I'm watching Dog Whisperer right now, and his pitbull puppy reminded me.  By the way, his pitbull puppy is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.  I'm pretty sure that later in my life when I have land and space I'm going to adopt pitbulls for the rest of my life.  Jack and Cesar Milan have given me my life goal :)  I sooooo love Jack.  I wish every dog was like him.  And I wish everyone could meet him.  He looks so powerful but he's such a baby.  He's so cute when he cuddles up.  He's loyal and he knows what is right and wrong.  Unlike his OLDER brother.  I just wish I could trust Jack not to pee in my bed... he'd sleep with us every night.  He probably wouldn't, but I don't want to risk having to wake up and clean sheets and comforters and somehow a mattress haha.

Rescue Ink is coming on next on Nat. Geo.  These tough guys in NYC go around rescuing dogs from abusive or neglectful owners.  I'm recording it but I'm not going to watch it yet.  Apparently someone HUNG a dog and stoned it to death.  It was a pitbull too.  WHAT THE CRAP?!  I can hardly stand to raise my voice at my dogs when I'm frustrated.  How do you do things like that?  When they haven't been able to be out of their cages running around for at least a few hours after I get home, I feel guilty for days.  How do people leave their dogs chained up or abuse them?  What's the point?  Why do you have them!?!?

Well I got a busy day tomorrow, and Sunday is my baby shower.  I hate being the center of attention.  I'm like, nervous and sick to my tummy about it.  I hate how everyone there will know me, but not necessarily know each other too.  That stresses me out a lot.  If I were them, I'd go home.  Haha.  My family also invited like 75 people or something.  When they told me that I couldn't even believe it.  And it's at my aunt's house!  I have no idea how it's going to work.  I also am worried it's going to be a disaster with all those people... it'll make me look so bad.

Oh well, I guess the good thing is that I'll get to have a whole day of being excited about the babies arriving :)  In three months and most likely less, we're going to have two little humans living in our house............ yikes. 

If you look back over the past year or so of my posts, I bet most of them are on Tuesday nights.  Haha.  Jonathan works on Tuesday nights and I sit here at home and do nothing.  Usually, I even keep the dogs in their cages most of the evening because they're bad.  But lately I've been keeping them out, hanging out with me to keep my company.  They're usually really good and just lay around the living room.  Today though, Oliver is acting like a piece of crap to Jack.  He keeps bothering Jack.  Like, biting his ears and taunting Jack into chasing him.  Jack's pretty good and just sits there.  I'm worried though, that one day, Jack is going to lose it and kill Oliver.  It's hilarious.  Not really... but... Oliver deserves whatever Jack does to him!  Jack is soooo laid back and quiet.  Oliver is a holy terror.  Barking and jumping and running and fighting.  Poor Jack.  Anyways.  It's frustrating because I want to just chill here on the couch and watch TV, but I constantly have to make sure Oliver is being nice.  Also, when Jonathan is here, one of us can be with each dog, or one of us can be with the dogs while the other is going about our business.  When I'm by myself, they have to go everywhere with me or be in their cages.  I still don't trust the alone.  Mostly Oliver.  We left them here for about 10 minutes a week or so ago while we went to Sheetz to get gas in my car.  They were fine.  We cam back and they were just at the top of the steps waiting for us.  Usually we put them in their cages when we're going somewhere even for a couple minutes.  SOOO... Saturdayish we went outside to water our new flower garden and left them upstairs.  When we came back FIVE minutes later, there was a soda spilled all over the living room carpet, and Oliver was upstairs, under the bed, eating my clothes.

Anyway.  I love my puppies.  I just hate being here alone on Tuesdays with them.

I dread Tuesdays.  It makes me wonder how people do the thing where their significant others work opposite times from them.  Blah.  It's not like when Jonathan is here, we do anything special or even do anything at all... but it's nice to have someone around.  I especially hate going to bed Tuesday nights because I know he's not coming home and I'm going to be scared to sleep at first, then wake up scared too cuz it's still dark.  I don't know why I'm scared to sleep in my house, nothing's ever given me a reason to be scared... I just don't like it.  It's so quiet and the half-built houses behind my house are creepy at night.  All those shadow-y doors and windows back there... ew.

So everything is good otherwise.  School is good... I feel so much better about this year.  It's like the curriculum and everything is natural to me.  Discipline comes natural too.  That used to be hard.  I've been much better with parents too.  The teachers I talked to my first year were right.  The third year, you start to feel comfortable.  The thing that makes it harder of course is that I changed schools.  THAT makes me feel like a brand-new teacher because I'm so confused about some things still.  But it's good.  My kids are great.

I think I'd written before about the babies moving and kicking in my belly, but since Friday, it's gotten INSANE.  Friday night, Jonathan and I went to see Inglorious Basterds, and after eating a large (bucket) popcorn between the two of us (of four of us!) baby boy started moving ALL OVER THE PLACE.  It was like a circus in my uterus.  I could SEE the kicks through my black shirt in the dark theater.  Putting my hand on my belly let me feel the sensation of little feet running across my belly.  It was crazy.  So now, several times a day, one or both of the babies move to the point where you can see my belly take a new shape.  Lopsided most of the time.  Sometimes it feels like their in my ribs, other times it feels like they're way down low.  I know I'm gonna start being super-uncomfortable really soon because once they get up past your belly button, it's like their encroaching on your lungs.  I can't make it up the stairs without having to crash on the couch or the bed and catch my breath.  PLUS, I've been getting these leg cramps when I walk with a purpose.  Haha.  Anyway, feeling the babies moving is really cool.  It's exciting.  And now I'm getting so excited that it's getting hard to wait for them to arrive :)

When we go to bed at night, we sit and feel my belly (after Jonathan helps me with my cocoa butter routine.)  He still thinks it's weird and gross when they move and he feels it or sees it, but I know he gets excited.  We'll lay there for a few minutes and talk about it, and then we always try to remember to appreciate this time when me just being alive is enough for them to survive.  In a very few short months, we aren't going to have that luxury anymore.  While we'll be able to hug them and kiss them and hold them, we'll also have to feed them and drive them around and keep them from crying.  Hopefully it's worth it.  I know it will be, but it's hard to feel okay with that when I know I'll miss our quiet evenings alone together.  I don't regret it... because I know I'd feel this way no matter how long we waited.  I wanted to have a baby by the time I was 25, and I am doing just that.  Jonathan's happy too... and honestly, that makes me even happier.  I'm happy I didn't have to wait around for him to be "ready" or have to pressure him into it.  He may not be as ready as he thinks he is, but I know he's the type that will man-up when the time comes.  The other day he even said "I know I'll cry when I see them."  Haha.  He probably won't, but it's cute that he thinks he will.  It makes all this pain and suffering kinda worth it when I see how much he appreciates it.  I know he's so happy that we're having a boy and a girl too.  Just like I am :)  We would have been happy either way, but I think we are just so blessed to have it work out like that.  It's exciting to think of how cool it'll be to raise one boy and one girl at the same time.  And eventually we'll have room for more, and the littler ones will get to have a big brother AND a big sister.

That's it :)  Just thoughts for the night!

Today was the first day with my kids!  Yay!  It went pretty well.  I'm just achy and tired.

Kids are so cute and today I wasn't prepared for their "cute" questions about my pregnancy.  I was ready to tell them about it, and explain how I'd go away for a few weeks and then come back.  But then I get blindsided with "how'd they get in there?"

Before I could lose my cool, another kid says "you just have to wish for them!"

Hehe.

Then, the questions kept coming.  "Once you drink your coffee, how do they breathe?"  (Cuz obviously they live in my actual stomach.)

"Is it going to hurt when they pull them out of you?"

Hahaha.

Anyways.  It was a good day.  I'm so tired and worn out and frustrated because I really still have SOOO much to do for school.  It's insane how things catch up so fast! 

Oh well, for now I'm relaxing on the couch because I'm just DONE for today.  I'm severely hungry, so I just heated up this little piece of steak that was in the fridge, and after I ate most of it, I realized how old it actually was.  I guess it's like 1 and a half to 2 weeks old.  I wasn't thinking at all!  I don't know if it actually tasted bad, or if after I realized how old it was I had a mental block.  Now I feel stupid for eating it!  I'm just sooo hungry and JB is gonna cook dinner because my feet hurt.  I don't wanna wait anymore but the feet will fall off if I go stand in front of the stove for 30 minutes.

Anyway.  I'm done for now, I'm sure I'll be updating soon as I have two important appointments this week :)